Profile for DanaO

KoL in-game profile (Don't expect the link to work if you're not actually logged in to the game)
Portrait:  Portrait not available until I finally get around to drawing it Current tattoo:
Player ID#: 1691908
Account Created: May 30, 2008
These Pages Last Updated: January 1, 2013
Class: Leaning towards Disco Bandit, but will use anything
Clan: Crossroads at the 13th Hour (founder and current sole member)
Full Past-Life History (This link available to nonplayers, but chart not very legible)
Rough Ascension Totals: 1 casual, 23 vanilla hardcore, 2 as a teetotaler (1 normal, 1 hardcore), 1 hardcore as an oxygenarian, 3 hardcore while hunted by every bee in the Kingdom, 7 as a student of the Fist (1 normal, 6 hardcore (1 of those accompanied solely by a flying dagger)), 6 while staying trendy (1 normal, 5 hardcore), 11 hardcore as an avatar of Boris the Beefy, 6 hardcore during an interdimensional invasion of the bugbear Precursors, 11 hardcore as a Zombie Slayer (of Zombie Slayers), 1 under a Bad Moon (successfully completing kittycore)

Commonly Used Quotes

I've often listened to my colleagues curse the monsters that interfere with what they consider the serious business of vendetta. Personally, if I must contend against my fellows, I'd far prefer to do so on some noisome plain crawling with beasties. I welcome all such distractions, when the alternative is to simply slaughter - or be slaughtered by - other [players].
- Kafkar

Some say the pen is mightier than the sword. I've found a laser pointer can be modified to serve as both.
- Dana Otken (from the old AAA days, which I sometimes miss)

In the realm of the body, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. In the realm of the mind, a single step can traverse a thousand miles.
- Dana Otken

I fear no mimes; fear is the mime-killer.
I fear not alien geometries; for we are all born in one and (click heels) there's no place like home.
I fear not tentacles, suckers, or arbitrary anatomical arrangements, for I have had spaghetti breakfast for breakfast.
We fear neither insanity nor silliness nor total lack of either, for we play Kingdom of Loathing.
- Dana Otken

Description

Is an alternate-universe equivalent of DanaO in Billy Vs. SNAKEMAN, so looks exactly the same minus the tar and paper seals normally covering the latter's hair, body and clothes (if wearing any clothes; it's hard to tell). (Difference entirely due to the absence of miko in this universe, and thus Dana's persistent, imaginative, and poorly-explained harassment of same.) Is somewhat less social due to the lack of a Gensokyo-equivalent to relax in and the differing chat systems.

History

DanaO wandered into the Kingdom of Loathing, decided the solitude was enjoyable and proceeded to fall asleep and dream of other games for months. Due to accumulating computer and video instability slowly rendering said games unplayable, eventually resurfaced... in a different game entirely (BvS). This coincided with reading some of Ken Akamatsu's work and noting the remarkable resemblance between one of his characters and the persona bestowed by a pre-KoL experience (the no-longer-extant Alien Adoption Agency). Having decided to embrace the Internet's typecasting, she finished adjusting her persona to match, woke up in KoL, stretched, and got down to business.

Due to still ignoring other players, the forums, and the Coldfront wiki, her first ascension through the core game took most of a year. (You can do it without help, even today - though it helps to know some Latin and how to look up songs by lyric. And to be inquisitive and keep extensive personal notes. And to have no interest in efficiency or competition.)

At that point she reincarnated into Hardcore difficulty and has rarely looked back. Her attendance has become regular, to the extent that it's now often faster to get a message to her here than through real-world email, and she's become an occasional donator (having a bit of spare money after the shutdown of several MMOs). While still rarely even lurking in the chat channels (this may change if she ever gets around to writing a Greasemonkey script to autosave transcripts) and seldom listening to the game's radio station, she now at least regularly glances at the forums and has made extremely minor contributions to the wiki. (Refusing help for the semi-stable core game is one thing; ignoring other players' experiences in a game whose staff loves "one time only" events is something else.)

Since then, she's

• hired a manservant (conforming to all rules regarding alts),
• created a personal clan and ground out basement access for it (just in time to see the orcish sorority Sigma Lambda Upsilon Tau's Halloween party),

and has slowly begun to have a presence in global events,

• contributing to the quadrennial Crimbo events starting in 2009 (see the Official History of Crimbo for a plot summary up to 2010), even exchanging a few presents,
• and having participated in the March 2011 defense of Valhalla, where she
  • personally slew 73,040 skeletons in air-to-air combat while mounted on winged yeti (both her and the skeletons),
  • attempted to exploit the dependence of Corman's forces on exposed supply trains temptingly loaded with tanker cars of blood and meat by organizing a cross-game "TOUHOU HIJACK LOL" (okay, so this was technically her BvS-side counterpart, but we'd been needing moe dakka for a week),
  • and assisted significantly in distracting interior defenses of the Bone Star and thus bringing it down, acquiring both third rank in the Air Warriors Of Loathing and (on February 14, 2012... at last) the T-shirt to prove it.
• She also became a volunteer member of the newly-formed Fire Department of Loathing in June of 2012, despite being almost entirely - and given her characterization, quite oddly -  unprepared at the time to handle the brushfires which engulfed the Nearby Plains. (Plotwise, this was caused by exhausting considerable resources while flooding of a certain notable shrine as part of a birthday celebration.) Despite this, a few thousand snakefires (in the grassfires) and a dozen or so blazing bats met their demise at her hands. (Exact kill counts still not available.) The critical omissions in her spellbook are mostly a thing of the past.
• In October 2012, she joined the set of players able to successfully infiltrate the infiltration of four-shadowed mimes into the Kingdom's dimension, despite getting too late a start to help the community beyond getting one other player in. Should be at least basically prepared for whatever comes next.
  

Also credited, at least in her own mind, with:

• The first in-depth probe (so to speak) into the depths of abnormal gender identification among Gravy Fairy subspecies (it turns out Felonia, Dark - um, Mistress of the Spooky Gravy Fairies is more of a role model than expected).
• The first recorded sighting of the fudge poodle, several days before it could be encountered by players (via in-game dataspidering).
• Periodic attempts to sell a potential challenge path (current working title "I Can Haz NS" (shudders), details on to-be-built subpage here).
  This sounds... so, so awful. And I have no doubt people would do it anyway, just because it was there. The idea of a reward that is not simply useless but would actually be detrimental to use is just the icing on the cake.
  On the other hand, you've created an idea here that's more horrible than kittycore and Bees combined, so kudos on that.
  - Akaiya
• The very first posting on or after April 1st, 2012 in the forums to include the phrase "I fear no mimes; fear is the mime-killer." (Given the type of people in the playerbase, that might be an impressive first.) A hopefully valid link to the relevant thread: This one.
• Being the first person to actually post about (presumably many people have done it without noticing or caring)
  
  • Getting into a fight with the entire Kingdom of Loathing at once, taking the time out from combat to analyze said opponent, and coming "to the conclusion that, basically, your enemy is a douchebag."
  • In an ascension path in which all bees are hostile (even the letter 'b' hurts to make contact with), successfully killing bees using bees as the weapon.
  • Despite that four-shadowed mimes have no voices and move in complete silence, she's found "ways of making them talk" (or at least make noises).
    

She's sporadically beta testing another game by the creators of KoL (Word Realms), and has spent most of the last year getting ready to make another unpopular suggestion; this one will involve a new familiar with a rather unique mechanic.

Known Associates

Kelly Kelnaught
KoL in-game profile
Player ID#: 2058955
Account Created: December 17, 2009
Class: As much as he needs to have? (Almost entirely a Pastamancer, with brawler tendencies when drunk. Which is often.)

Description:
This "right lie-down bloke" is serving boy, running dog, wok chef, bodyg"driver", and occasional bot for his mistress Dana O. (DanaO). He has no idea why she never seems to actually receive any benefit from his labors, or any understanding of what logic lies behind her orders, but assumes she simply has fancy plans (and pants to match).

Or she's just spent the last few years messing with his head. The girl's kind of like that.

Activities:
He's been spending most of his time currently on a grand expedition to discover all forms of bare-handed wok cooking used in the Kingdom. This has taken an amazing amount of time, and will likely transition into a similarly grand expedition to master all forms of wok cooking-eating as done by the Kingdom's residents.